"

Over training is over rated, rest better so that you can train even more" - Nick Yster Bester


Monday, September 19, 2011

Reality Struck Me Down

I think I have a very good life and I am really blessed that I can do a lot of things I really love with the people I really love. I have more than I need and do a lot of things some people will never be able to do. For all of this I am always very grateful.

Lately, my life has been fantastic. I’ve been really busy but all in a very good way. I’ve been in a very good space. On Saturday morning reality struck me when I was ripped out of this happy space.

I was at a shopping mall and had to go to the men’s room. As I walked in a man walked in behind me and the next moment another stood in front of me and put a gun to my forehead. Another guy appeared next to me and said: “we are taking your money now”. They took my wallet and searched me for a phone. By chance I actually forgot my phone in the car. They got really upset and angry that I didn’t have a phone on me. The one guy ripped my watch from my arm and they disappeared as quickly as they appeared.

I was totally stunned, but also happy that I was ok and not hurt in any way. The whole time I stood there with the gun to my head I thought about my 10 year old son. What will happen to him? How will he cope if he gets the news that I’ve been shot were the thoughts rushing through my head.

I realize as things sink in that my happy space is gone. Although everybody and everything I love is still there and we are all unharmed, I am at the moment in a very bad space. I always have a very cool and calm head and this probably helped me during the ordeal. I do however feel a lot of emotions I don’t usually carry with me surrounding me at the moment. This includes anger, disappointment, nervousness and probably even some hate.

Reality struck and it struck me in a lot of places. I’ll be back in my happy space and I will do all the lovely things I always do. I will do it with the people I love and I will be a lot closer to them than before. But somehow I feel there will always be this bad spot in my happy place. An opening where bad things can jump in at any time…

Be grateful and love the people around you. Keep them very close to you.

42 comments:

Jennifer said...

When I read about this on FB I was stunned. Johann you are the most kind person, why you? Opportunity I guess. I can't imagine how I would have handled it, you did well. Also, I am very happy to hear it did not happen when you were running. Don't let those bad things jump in. Thinking of you, wishing you find some peace of mind soon.

ultra collie said...

oh my god johan..i wondered where you might be going with your post. like you, i didnt expect this! if it help i feel your emotions..that is some ordeal you never expect or want. but most of all i am so happy you came out the other side and able to post about it. i hope you draw strength and happiness from all the great people you know and love..especially one very lucky ten year old boy. take care mate.

Anne said...

OMG I can't believe this happened to you...how awful! I am so glad that you came out of this unharmed, how scary. I can only imagine the lingering fear and anger...even I feel anger at these men for putting you through this. Sending you a big hug Johann (((()))) Take care.

HappyTrails said...

Very sorry to read this Johann. We are very glad to hear that you were unharmed. Wallets are replaceable, that peace and happiness is much more elusive. You are in our thoughts - recover well friend!

Lisa said...

what horrible, shocking news! i can't even imagine what it would be like to be in that situation. Glad you are okay...hope you find your way back to your happy place.

Robin said...

Wow I'm so sorry that happened to you but so glad you are ok. Definitely know what you mean and how you feel, as I work in a bank and went through a horrible robbery. You will find your happy space again. It'll definitely take some time but you will. So sorry...hang in there.

Indi said...

so glad you are ok! Its scary to think about how things can change in an instant at time. We should be thankful for all life has given us and the joys we have and cherish it all daily. I for one never leave home in the morning before telling my hubby that I love him and last thing I say at night is I love you to him. Life is precious indeed!!

Laura said...

While I am so happy you are ok, that is so scary. I cannot even imagine having to go through something like that...life is precious that is for sure...

misszippy said...

Oh Johann! That is just awful. I'm so sorry you went through this and can't imagine how much that can shake your foundation. I'm thinking about you and pulling for a return to your happy place soon.

Amy said...

Johann, I am completely stunned reading this. This is so scary. I am glad you made it out of this situation alive, but I feel so bad for you for damage this has done to your outlook on life. You are so right though - this reminds us what really matters in life, the ones we love. Take care.

Christi said...

That just sucks and I am so sorry that you had to go through that ordeal. I hope you get back to your happy place soon!

BabyWeightMyFatAss said...

What a horrible thing to happen to you! I'm sorry you had to go through that. Being robbed whether you are there for it or come home to it robs you mentally of so many securities you thought you had ingrained in you. I hope you can find your peace out on the trails.

Julie said...

This is just so frightening! Johann, I am so sorry these people took away your happy space. Please don't let them take more than your money. Don't let them do this to you. Turn it into the day that you became even more grateful and more in love with the people around you.

Karen said...

Johann, that is so horrible! I am so sorry this happened to you... Hopefully things will get better in time for you. I am sure an attack like that would shake you to the core. Thinking of you today :)

Mike said...

Johann...You know, I often think about how vunerable I am when in the mens room. What I would do when shady characters come in. But to have a gun pulled on you....that's scary. Hope you're feeling better today.

Detroit Runner(Jeff) said...

Johann - so sorry to hear this happened to you and glad you are Ok. I hope they catch the guys that did this so it will not happen to anyone else. Take care!

Liz said...

That is such a horible post to read. I'm so sorry, it must have been terrifying to have a gun to your head. No wonder you are not feeling your usual self. Take care, and I hope you begin to feel better soon.

Kate said...

This bothered me all day after seeing it on facebook, so I can only imagine how it's affecting you. This isn't THE reality, though. It's just a reality of that day. You still have all the same good things around you that you did before you walked into that bathroom. Maybe even more blessed because you weren't physically hurt in the incident. Hoping that your sense of peace and security is back with you soon.

Jerry Smallwood said...

I am astounded, here in the UK gun crime is very rare (sadly rising though) and when I hear and read stories like this it makes me feel very sad that this level of violence is offered for such little reward.

I am so glad that you are unharmed and you have loved ones and friends near you.
Stay strong Johann

Char said...

What's happened to you has been so sobering. Bad things can happen to good people. All that needs to happen is to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. I would have thought that the toilets in a shopping mall would have been quite safe. I hope you can work through all this Johann.
And as for a cupcake - I thought you might like a plum pudding type one with a few coins inside since you've had your wallet taken.

lindsay said...

Oh my goodness!! What an ordeal! I am SO glad you are ok. I know you not ok-ok, but glad nothing more happened. It is so hard to trust general mankind again after your personal space is violated like this. Do not live in fear, for that only gives more power to the bad people.

My dad had a (sort of) similar thing happen to him a few years ago. We are so thankful the bad guy did not carry through with his plan. Who knows what makes people do things like this.

I am glad you are ok Johann; hug your family extra tight!!

Abby @ Have Dental Floss, Will Travel said...

Johann, this kind of thing makes me so mad. I was held up at gunpoint a few years ago, and it totally shook me in exactly the way you describe. I hated the way the experience left me feeling vulnerable in places I used to feel blissfully secure.

I'm really glad to hear that you're safe, and I hope that you're able to find that happy place again soon.

Ewa said...

Johann, first, I am sending tons of hugs to you. I can't possibly imagine what you must have gone through even though you describe your thoughts and feelings so eloquently. Whatever I write now is, kind of, "easy for her to say" but in my life, as sheltered as it is, I learned that the only way to get over hurts caused by others is to find some kind of compassion and understanding for why they are doing evil things. Yes, easy for me to say. My life has never been threatened but maybe, as time passes you will find a way to look at those event through a different lens, one that does not focus on your fear and anger (justifiable as they are) but on what lead those people to do what they did.
I am very grateful you were not physically harmed. I hope the wounds of your soul will heal fast and you will return to your happy place.
Again, lots of hugs and good thoughts going your way.

XLMIC said...

I am so sorry this happened to you :(

Having lived through some "ripped from my happy place" experiences, I can attest to the possibility of cleanly moving on and living life as fully and joyously as before... and even if you think you can do it on your own, sometimes counseling is a huge help.

My best to you, Johann. Wishing you peace and joy :)

ajh said...

I would have similar thoughts going through my head in that situation even though my children are no longer children. I am sure you have many emotions from this and that is okay. Let them flow. I hope you do get back to your happy space soon but take the time to process this as best you can. There are a lot of bad people out there unfortunately.

Jill said...

I could write a novel here, Johann, but will just send big hugs your way and to say that yes, you will be in a happy space again. You WILL!!!
xoxo

Raina said...

Johann,

I am so glad that you are OK for your sake and your son's sake. What happened is truly terrible. Wickedness is a sad reality we live with. I am praying that in time you will be able to forgive them. I know that sounds impossible, (and probably trite), but it will heal your heart and put that "happy place" back better than anything else I know. God saw what happened and they will have to reckon with Him.

Staci said...

Really sorry to hear about your experience.
It is was it is and you really need to allow yourself to feel and express all the conflicting emotions that are coming up for you. Just be easy on yourself, continue to do what you love and be with the people that you love and honour yourself.
Thinking of you lots.

Lesley said...

It sounds like you handled a very scary situation quite well! I'm thankful that you weren't physically harmed! Take good care.

Michael said...

Oh my gosh, this is terrible. I am so, so glad that you are ok. I can't imagine how scary that was. Just reading it gave me chills, trying to put myself in your shoes. I truly just can't imagine.

Teamarcia said...

OMG Johann how terrible! I'm so sorry this happened. Although you are safe (thank heavens) I can't even imagine how shaken you must be. Have faith you will return to your happy place again.

Molly said...

Johann, I still can't believe that happened to you. After you process all this, I know you'll find your happy place again. Sending good thoughts your way!

Paul said...

So scary Johann. I've been burgled but never personally threatened...I can't imagine how it felt...but I know it would shake me to the core.

I think you have the right idea on how to move on and heal.

Holding your close ones closer is a good start 8)

Her Name Is Rio said...

Oh my goodness! I cannot imagine how you felt- very scary- very in the moment. I am so glad you were not physically injured. Hang in there...

AshleyR said...

Oh, my! That is so scary. Glad you are okay. People can really suck sometimes. I just don't get it.

Laurie said...

I am sorry this happened to you. I am glad you are physically OK and hope that your family and friends provide all the support that you need in the weeks and months to come.
I got mugged at knifepoint about 15years ago -- my second day in Philadelphia. It still sticks with me but the initial terror fades.

Black Knight said...

This is not anymore our world! Glad you are ok after this terrible adventure. Now try to forget and to live your life how if nothing happened. It is difficult I know but you will succeed. When I was 18 I lost 2 teeth by an aggression while I was seated on my motor-bike. A coward shit beyond my shoulder hit me with a punch. Nothing happened because at that time my father was threatened by the aggressor's father a policeman and ... I was too young to know the penal and the civil code to "persecute" him.

Giorgio said...

Sorry to hear that horrible thing!
You were calm when it happened and now you have to find the strenght to forget. Take care, Johann!

Christina said...

Wow. I'm so sorry that this happened. People never cease to amaze me but in both ways. That people could be so evil but that others can also be so kind. The good thing is there are more kind people out there but you unfortunately met the bad ones. May healing (mental) come quickly and your happy place returns.

MCM Mama said...

How scary!! So glad to hear you weren't injured. I can only imagine the thoughts that were going through your head.

Richelle said...

OMG, I'm so sorry that this happened to you! I'm glad that you weren't physically harmed. I hope that you will get back to your happy place again... I'm sure it will take some time but you will get there. Hang in there, buddy!

The Green Girl said...

Johann, I am so shocked. That is so terrifying. I am so glad you are okay and you were not injured.

You are one of the kindest, gentlest people I know. I am so sorry this happened. ::huge hugs::