"I'd rather be seen on my bicycle than on a park run" - Quote from the dark side

Monday, 19 December 2011

How I Peed On A Leopard

OK everyone. The 15th point of my previous post is explained below. Not that big a story but still one to tell...

How I Peed on a Leopard

Years ago I was fortunate enough to go on a 5 day hiking trip with a friend of mine. I had some contacts in the army that allowed us to do a hike on army property. The army bought 7 game farms and turned one into a military base. The other 6 were merged for later use but remained “untamed” for many years.

We decided to do a hike that would take us over the six game farms and just slept where we found a good spot. It was an amazing experience and we encountered lots and lots of game very close up. The best part was the feeling of total freedom we felt the whole time.


On the third day we decided to have lunch on top of a mountain with a spectacular view. My friend was busy preparing lunch and I was standing at the edge of a ravine admiring the unbelievable view. There was a ledge about 3m (9ft) below me that went all the way along the top of the mountain we were on.

I decided this ledge would be a perfect spot to pee on. Yep, I was a free man in my early twenties and this appealed to me…J So I did the P thing 3m down while admiring the great view. The next moment we heard a growl and a leopard suddenly got up right below me where I was doing the P thing…right on him! He got up with a growl, looked at me, and then walked away on the ledge…not pleased at all.



We didn’t hang around to see where he went or what he did next. We had our lunch an hour and a lot of kilometers later. I can’t remember if I completed the P thing or not. I can confirm that at least I didn’t do more than the P thing…it might have been close.

And that's how I peed on a leopard!

Thanks for reading! Have a super week everyone!

46 comments:

Ewa said...

Very, very funny.
Poor leopard. I wonder if it keeps a blog with a post about how a human P-ed on him. :-)

Johann, I am wishing you and your family a wonderful Christmas.

Jim ... 50after40 said...

Maybe the best story I've heard in the blog-world! Awesome! Have a great week!

Staci said...

Only in Africa. 😏

Michael said...

That's crazy! What an entertaining story! I peed on a plant once. Ha!

Jennifer said...

That is just brilliant! I am still laughing. I bet that poor animal has never been the same!

Have a great holiday my friend, warm wishes to you and your family. I know you will so enjoy all the extra company and good times! Cheers!

Kate said...

This is too funny. I especially love the cartoon. :)

HappyTrails said...

Can't say that I would get (or want to get) that opportunity here. Surely one experience you will never forget!!

Shawn said...

How many people in the entire planet say they did that!!!!!

misszippy said...

That is SUCH a great story! And I love the illustrations to go along with it. I'm guessing you don't have much company with the same experience out there!

Indi said...

I absolutely LOVE it!!! that is the most awesome thing EVER!!! If I could only tell what went through that leapord's head...LoL!

Her Name Is Rio said...

I imagine not many people would be able to say they did THAT. :) You've got bragging rights!

Kovas Palubinskas said...

Great drawing and story!

Christi said...

That is too funny!

Karien said...

Heehee - great story!

Robin said...

Ha ha...love the drawing! Thanks for sharing.

Amy said...

OMG!!! What a story - love the drawing you made to go along with it!

Mike said...

That's a fun story. I was peed on by a lion at a big cat sanctuary. I think he was marking his territory. My dog went crazy from the odor when I got home!

Paul said...

Wow! Cool!

But it could have been a Darwin moment for you if he'd been a little more pissed 8}

I love the line drawing.

Your blog will now get all the google hits in the entire world for the search:

"How to pee on leopard"

8)8)8)

Big Daddy Diesel said...

Wow, that got my attention, now its funny, I bet it wasnt at the time

Karen said...

complete with illustrations! hilarious :)

Char said...

Did you commission an artist to do that picture. It's so life-like I had to look twice to make sure it wasn't a photo.

Great story Johann. You've done something that very few of us get to do.

Marlene said...

LOL, that is a great story!!

lindsay said...

That's hilarious!! Imagine being woken up from a nap... Nice artwork too :)

2 Slow 4 Boston said...

Too bad that event didn't get video taped. Too funny. What a good running story.

Abby @ Have Dental Floss, Will Travel said...

That is fantastic. I wish I had something equally fantastic to share, but that really takes the cake.

ajh said...

Absolutely hysterical. The drawing is good but a real photo would be priceless. How awful to be quietly sunning on a rock and some human pees on you!

ajh said...

Absolutely hysterical. The drawing is good but a real photo would be priceless. How awful to be quietly sunning on a rock and some human pees on you!

Lauren said...

Very funny. And very glad the leopard didn't try to get his revenge.

Liz said...

Great story, love it!

Jill said...

Good thing the leopard didn't have YOU for lunch! :)

abbi said...

That was a great story, thanks for sharing the explanation!

Raina said...

Must have been a spectacular view :) . What a surprise! Also, I had no idea you had such art talent!!!

Merry Christmas, Johann

Giorgio said...

I would have never thought I could read that on a blog. Nice story! You made me laugh :) You're great, Johann!

May you and your family have a happy Christmas!

Black Knight said...

Great story for you, for us but not for the leopard!
Happy Christmas.

A-Pi (Peter) said...

Fantastic! If you write an autobiography, "Peeing On A Leopard" would make an eye-catching title!

Mark said...

Great story!! Merry Christmas my friend!

Rach @ Girl on the Run said...

hah that's hilarious...happy holidays!

Christina said...

Great story! I've never heard of anyone peeing on a leopard before...or any other wild animal either.

Black Knight said...

Happy Christmas to you, your family and .... the wet leopard.

Teamarcia said...

Oh geez, what are the chances? What a hilarious story. Glad you lived to tell it! Merry Christmas!

Meg said...

I appreciated the artistic interpretation of the "event." It made me giggle!
Happy New Year!

Molly said...

Wha wha whaaaat?? That is a crazy story Johann!!!!

SKA Runner said...

That is funny. I think it left you alone because you were showing dominance by peeing on it. Similar to what dogs do to other dogs.

Black Knight said...

Happy New Year.

Andrew Opala said...

I read this earlier, but didn't post a comment. But I saw a movie last night about bushmen in Tanzania with Kilimanjaro in the distance. And there's a comment in the film, that "you can't pee on a lion and survive". Thought I'd come back make sure I wasn't dreaming this story up!

Mandi Runs said...

That is awesome!! I love it!

Glad you did not stick around though, that could have been scary!