Monday, 19 December 2011

How I Peed On A Leopard

OK everyone. The 15th point of my previous post is explained below. Not that big a story but still one to tell...

How I Peed on a Leopard

Years ago I was fortunate enough to go on a 5 day hiking trip with a friend of mine. I had some contacts in the army that allowed us to do a hike on army property. The army bought 7 game farms and turned one into a military base. The other 6 were merged for later use but remained “untamed” for many years.

We decided to do a hike that would take us over the six game farms and just slept where we found a good spot. It was an amazing experience and we encountered lots and lots of game very close up. The best part was the feeling of total freedom we felt the whole time.


On the third day we decided to have lunch on top of a mountain with a spectacular view. My friend was busy preparing lunch and I was standing at the edge of a ravine admiring the unbelievable view. There was a ledge about 3m (9ft) below me that went all the way along the top of the mountain we were on.

I decided this ledge would be a perfect spot to pee on. Yep, I was a free man in my early twenties and this appealed to me…J So I did the P thing 3m down while admiring the great view. The next moment we heard a growl and a leopard suddenly got up right below me where I was doing the P thing…right on him! He got up with a growl, looked at me, and then walked away on the ledge…not pleased at all.



We didn’t hang around to see where he went or what he did next. We had our lunch an hour and a lot of kilometers later. I can’t remember if I completed the P thing or not. I can confirm that at least I didn’t do more than the P thing…it might have been close.

And that's how I peed on a leopard!

Thanks for reading! Have a super week everyone!

45 comments:

  1. Very, very funny.
    Poor leopard. I wonder if it keeps a blog with a post about how a human P-ed on him. :-)

    Johann, I am wishing you and your family a wonderful Christmas.

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  2. Maybe the best story I've heard in the blog-world! Awesome! Have a great week!

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  3. That's crazy! What an entertaining story! I peed on a plant once. Ha!

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  4. That is just brilliant! I am still laughing. I bet that poor animal has never been the same!

    Have a great holiday my friend, warm wishes to you and your family. I know you will so enjoy all the extra company and good times! Cheers!

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  5. This is too funny. I especially love the cartoon. :)

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  6. Can't say that I would get (or want to get) that opportunity here. Surely one experience you will never forget!!

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  7. How many people in the entire planet say they did that!!!!!

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  8. That is SUCH a great story! And I love the illustrations to go along with it. I'm guessing you don't have much company with the same experience out there!

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  9. I absolutely LOVE it!!! that is the most awesome thing EVER!!! If I could only tell what went through that leapord's head...LoL!

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  10. I imagine not many people would be able to say they did THAT. :) You've got bragging rights!

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  11. Ha ha...love the drawing! Thanks for sharing.

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  12. OMG!!! What a story - love the drawing you made to go along with it!

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  13. That's a fun story. I was peed on by a lion at a big cat sanctuary. I think he was marking his territory. My dog went crazy from the odor when I got home!

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  14. Wow! Cool!

    But it could have been a Darwin moment for you if he'd been a little more pissed 8}

    I love the line drawing.

    Your blog will now get all the google hits in the entire world for the search:

    "How to pee on leopard"

    8)8)8)

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  15. Wow, that got my attention, now its funny, I bet it wasnt at the time

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  16. complete with illustrations! hilarious :)

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  17. Did you commission an artist to do that picture. It's so life-like I had to look twice to make sure it wasn't a photo.

    Great story Johann. You've done something that very few of us get to do.

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  18. That's hilarious!! Imagine being woken up from a nap... Nice artwork too :)

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  19. Too bad that event didn't get video taped. Too funny. What a good running story.

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  20. That is fantastic. I wish I had something equally fantastic to share, but that really takes the cake.

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  21. Absolutely hysterical. The drawing is good but a real photo would be priceless. How awful to be quietly sunning on a rock and some human pees on you!

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  22. Absolutely hysterical. The drawing is good but a real photo would be priceless. How awful to be quietly sunning on a rock and some human pees on you!

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  23. Very funny. And very glad the leopard didn't try to get his revenge.

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  24. Good thing the leopard didn't have YOU for lunch! :)

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  25. That was a great story, thanks for sharing the explanation!

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  26. Must have been a spectacular view :) . What a surprise! Also, I had no idea you had such art talent!!!

    Merry Christmas, Johann

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  27. I would have never thought I could read that on a blog. Nice story! You made me laugh :) You're great, Johann!

    May you and your family have a happy Christmas!

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  28. Great story for you, for us but not for the leopard!
    Happy Christmas.

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  29. Fantastic! If you write an autobiography, "Peeing On A Leopard" would make an eye-catching title!

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  30. Great story!! Merry Christmas my friend!

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  31. Great story! I've never heard of anyone peeing on a leopard before...or any other wild animal either.

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  32. Happy Christmas to you, your family and .... the wet leopard.

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  33. Oh geez, what are the chances? What a hilarious story. Glad you lived to tell it! Merry Christmas!

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  34. I appreciated the artistic interpretation of the "event." It made me giggle!
    Happy New Year!

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  35. Wha wha whaaaat?? That is a crazy story Johann!!!!

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  36. That is funny. I think it left you alone because you were showing dominance by peeing on it. Similar to what dogs do to other dogs.

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  37. Happy New Year.

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  38. I read this earlier, but didn't post a comment. But I saw a movie last night about bushmen in Tanzania with Kilimanjaro in the distance. And there's a comment in the film, that "you can't pee on a lion and survive". Thought I'd come back make sure I wasn't dreaming this story up!

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  39. That is awesome!! I love it!

    Glad you did not stick around though, that could have been scary!

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